The World According to LaTaeya

             I was planning on writing on a another subject but after watching Anderson Cooper’s show today about bullying I felt like I needed to express some of my feelings on the subject.  My heart goes out those Children and young adults that feel that they have to result in ending their lives because of what and how others make them feel.  Things have just gotten out hand with this whole thing over the past few years.  I believe that at one point or another everyone goes through some type of bullying in school.  What makes it so different from my time is that it’s not the old school “throwing paper or spit balls at some one, it is not the traditional trip in the hallway, or “you have a big head” type of teasing.  It is over the top crossing the line inappropriate disrespectfulness that plagues the halls of our modern schools.  Bullying today has evolved into stalking, harassment and assault.   No matter what type of bullying goes on, it is just out right WRONG!  As a public school paraprofessional bullying is something that is very prevalent in the schools and unfortunately it has crossed over into the safe haven of the students homes as well.  Back in the day if another student was bullying another, the victim had the opportunity to go home at three and rest or be free of the bullying while in the home.  It would not be until the next school day that the issue would rise again.  But now things are not like that.  These kids (the bully’s) excuse my language have the BALLS to follow students home, to call or text on their phone harassing the victim and even now has the internet to continue the torture.  These poor kids who are the victims feel like they have no way out, no escape from this constant torment. 

            So now the question is what happens next, What are we educators supposed to do?  How do we protect our kids and help society protect our kids.  I will tell you that first of all it means that we have to establish positive relationships with the students and parents.  But the truth of the matter is that all students and parents do not necessarily have positive outlooks in general. Some kids can not even be approached, some have attitudes that will make adults avoid them.   Some do not even care about education, the institution and the socialism that comes with the school environment.  That is reality.  Some parents just send their kids to school because it is the law and because it is a place for the child to go to, just  get out of their hair for six or seven hours.  I hate to say it but those are the parents of the bully’s.  I am saying that through my personal experience.  I do not mean to be stereotypical but I never came across a parent of a bully that went to parent teacher conferences, volunteered for school activities, chaperoned on trips, went to board meetings or physically and verbally had a voice in the education of their children. 

          Most schools are now implementing anti bullying programs headed by a guidance counselor or social worker, which is great.  But I still feel that students and parents are not aware of the real importance of the program.  I also want to say that the school and educators can only do but so much.  When I witness bullying I put a stop to it right then and there by talking to both parties.  Checking on the victim and listing to both of their stories.  I then document the incident and  take the necessary steps in reporting it to those administrators that can better help resolve it.  After that what really happens next?  Follow ups of course, but then what?  I am not a 24/7 security guard or an off duty cop.  So many people have so much to say about it but they are not living it.  Meaning they are not even involved in the schools.  The schools can do everything in their power to help these kids by educating them and parents about bullying, providing counseling and other ways to cope with bullying.  The thing about that is once again we can only do but so much.  Teachers and educators can not walk home with these kids, they can not tape the mouths shut of those students that are verbally taunting other students.  We can not take away their cell phones or go everywhere in the building with them.  We can not control what happens outside the school but for some reason many people think that we can. 

        PARENTS WHERE ARE THEY?  MISSING IN ACTION THAT IS WHERE.  It is imperative that parents get involved with and in their children lives.  We live in a society where every child must have a cell phone, and that is ridiculous.  Every child does not need their own lap top or computer.  They don’t.  I know the cell in not necessary.  I understand the computer is needed for school but really how much time is a child/teen spending on the computer doing actual work?  Maybe a half hour the most.  I will tell you what they are doing.  They are on FACEBOOK and other social networking sites, where bullying is very visible.  Facebook was not ment for kids, it was geared toward those adults that lost connection with those people in their lives that wanted to reconnect again.  The Parents are the one’s to blame because they have no idea what their kids are doing and who their kids have grown up to become.  Cyber bullying can be avoided if kids do not have access to the internet. (And even if they must have it, there is something called parental control)  Facebook and other sites can be blocked.   Parents need to show up in school sometimes, know what type of people they hangout with, Parents today in this society do not know how to control their kids.  This can apply to the bully’s and those kids that are being bullied.  Parents today do not even know who their friends parents are.  That never happened to me.  My mother knew all my friend’s parents.   She was a single parent and still volunteered and did all the things a good active parent should do, so the whole single parent thing can no longer be an excuse.  She also had two jobs.   I can go on and on about this subject and some people may not agree with me but is it too much to ask that parents really stop, think, and look to see what is going on with their kids.  There are other options out there and the more active parents become the more action and results they get.   The more protected their kids are.

       Bullying is something that will always be around because some humans just thrive off of hurting others.  There should be law in place that would make it a crime to bully others and therefore put the responsiblity back on parents and the bully’s.   We are all responsible for our own actions.  But we as teachers, parents, students, peers, and other members of society must continue to stick together and fight against bully’s.  The first step in doing that is obtaining courage, standing up for yourself and declaring that YOU will no longer be a victim.  That is exactly what I did!